The day started off well enough. Mum followed on the alms round again and this time it was only myself and Tan T. It wasn’t very painful either so I must be getting used to the Non Suan route. It started to go wrong before the meal as I got a sore throat. During the meal it was very painful to swallow. Luckily I didn’t take too much food so I could finish everything. After the meal I went to cough out some phlegm. It felt better and I thought that was that. I had a nice long chat again with my parents and it didn’t feel too bad then.

They left to go home and things started to go south. I started to feel dizzy so I went back to my kuti for a rest. I napped for about an hour but then I started to feel cold sitting underneath the kuti. I knew that it was cooler than inside but I should not be feeling cold. I suddenly realised that I had a fever and wasn’t sure what to do at all.

Forest monks usually just endure it right? I was sure that it wasn’t coronavirus related but given how much it worried people right now, I should at least let a senior monk know. They will know exactly what do in these situations. Should the worst happen and he didn’t know, he would still be responsible for it. I have to let someone know.

So I left with my bag to the central area and saw Pa Kao K. and asked if he could help look for someone. He said he couldn’t find anyone but saw Nen P. who said Tan Ajahn should be in his office. I went to listen in and he was talking to someone so I waited nearby for a little bit. As I was about to pass out he came out and saw me and he knew something was wrong.

I told him of my condition. He said that he would go and get some advice first but that I should be ready to leave for the hospital at any time. Then began the gruelling walk back to my kuti to pick up everything. If I had known, I would’ve brought everything with me since the round trip would take almost twenty minutes. I almost passed out on the way back but I made sure to pick up all the robes and my bowl.

My mind started to go blank. I saw Tan Ajahn again and he took me to the hospital kuti. He must have been aware that I was nearing my limit and was trying to keep me in conversation. At the hospital kuti he put me in a room and I had a thin mattress for the first time in one and a half months. I remember just being incredibly thankful for everything.

After a while a doctor came personally to look at my condition. I told him of my symptoms and he said that it was unlikely to be the coronavirus. I got my temperature taken and it was 39.1°C. After a while, Ton came and dropped off some medicine and looked rather worried, for which I don’t blame him at all. He asked if I had told my parents and I said no, because I didn’t think it would help the current situation. I passed out after that.

My parents came to visit and I met them on the way out to the alms round as someone forgot to unlock the gate. Mum got out when I asked if she wanted to follow me on the alms round. I think she took a lot of photos. I didn’t tell Tan B. who was leading but I’m pretty sure he realised as he went at a very compassionate pace. My weight went up today but it was the result of severely overeating yesterday. I can’t do that again as I had to walk very quickly to reach the toilet before an accident.

I had a nice chat with my parents and they were slightly concerned with my weight loss. This was to be expected given that they last saw me over a month ago. They spent a while informing me about the outside world with the coronavirus and all which is fair enough because I will be going out to face that soon. They offered three big rolls of cloth to the monastery which will be put to good use. Tan R. said that a few novices will likely be going forth to becoming monks soon so they will definitely use the cloth. In fact because face masks are in short supply, Tan Ajahn said that he donated one of the rolls to the Ubon province so they could be used to make cloth face masks.

I ended up going to Non Daeng with only Tan B. since Tan M. was fasting and the pace was nice and slow. He spoke of his awareness of how technology has progressed with AI and the like, and how religion and spirituality will become ever more important as we go forward. This morning during morning chanting I got pooped on by a tukkae from the ceiling so I can definitely say that I’ve been to WPN. Luckily it landed on my lap and it was easy to flick off.

Sangha Tea was interesting as the main topic of discussion was the coronavirus once more. It looks like the situation is getting worse in Bangkok as some returning Thai workers from South Korea somehow escaped quarantine, went out drinking and began spreading the virus at various bars.

After tea, I was making jokes about seeing what people ate at meal times and I shouldn’t have mentioned Tan B. by name but I told the Snickers story to another novice. A few days ago, three of us including myself went on the alms round and there was an offering of Snickers for each monk. I looked forward to having it during the meal because it was such a long time since I had anything like it. However when it came to the meal, I saw that Tan B. had taken two for himself when there were only three offered.

I was told that I shouldn’t look at what other people took and ate during the meal and judge them for it. I do regret mentioning him by name even if others knew of his habits and preferences. Also it reminded me of my own attachments and desires for various foods which was very apparent after the fact. All of this began because I didn’t get what I wanted. If I had learnt to let go of my desire in the first place then I wouldn’t be regretting telling the story right now.

Tan B. asked yesterday if the pace he was walking at the alms round was OK. No one had asked me that before! I think for experienced monks all surfaces are largely the same whereas for me I can go faster only on smoother ones and struggle otherwise. Also somehow I’ve gone up in weight. I think it must have been an anomaly as I measured in a hurry as Ajahn A. came in to do some cleaning in the phone room and I found it a bit awkward so I rushed out.

Tan Ajahn gave a rather sombre ovata explaining the situation with the coronavirus. Since it was getting worse outside of Thailand, WPN is becoming a target as it is a known hotspot for cross-border travel. As a result he’s having to put a halt to incoming laypeople, and monks arriving from virus hotspots will have to be quarantined to their kutis. He’s also advising all Pa Kao and laymen to return to their countries because they run the risk of overstaying their visas if they can’t return should the situation get worse. It will be interesting to see how the situation develops for us without Pa Kao or laymen in terms of the chores that need doing. The other monks have said that they’ve faced this before and that they only need to stick to necessities.

I woke up today with a massive ache on the right side of my back. It’s the first time I’ve felt this much muscle ache in a while. Rather it was something else that was hurting now and not just the soles of my feet or my knees. It looks like I will have to take the anti-inflammatory that were offered weeks ago back in Chiang Mai. I’ve taken them sparingly when it was necessary and this has only been after especially long Wan Phras. The last one was particularly painful but I thought I could tough it out and recover normally. Maybe I should have taken it then instead.

Yesterday I had a chat with Tan T. about his bowl situation and it was hilarious as he went and flicked through the Forest Sangha calendar in the bowl drying shed. He found a quote about how we shouldn’t judge others, which was exactly what we were talking about. He let out a hearty laugh as he saw it which will be hard to forget.

Just before Nam Pana a huge green iguana came and drank some leftover water from the cleaning area at the bowl drying shed. I can’t remember what an iguana is exactly but it was a big lizard and it was green. It wouldn’t budge at all even as I got near it. The body was as long as my forearm and the tail even longer. It’s the first time seeing one in this the forest and I wonder what it ate.