Damn the clock! Entirely my fault for having an old school analogue alarm clock which turned out to be as imprecise as I had feared. The alarm hand was pointing somewhat at 4 but it ended up going off at 4:15. This did not help when I had to be in the meditation area seated in front of everyone by 4:30. It was taking me about 15 minutes alone just to put on the main robe. I was able to get there, put my sitting cloth down (there’s a cloth for that too) and prostrate 3 times just as the chanting started. We were gently reprimanded and will need to be there by 4am for the rest of the retreat.

Each day starts off with morning chanting from 4:30 to 5:15. I had completely forgotten how long Pali-Thai chanting was and how much pressure quickly built up on the knees and toes. On each seat (monks included) was a chanting book and I didn’t use it at first because I thought it would look embarrassing for a monk to not know the Pali chants, and I was just mumbling something incoherent pretending to know.

Fortunately a guy nearby handed the book to me and even opened it at the right page. I have to be very thankful to him because later on there was a monk-only chant section. It would be immediately obvious at that point if I was still mumbling something and absolutely wrong. This was followed by a meditation session for 45 minutes. I didn’t bring a blanket or anything of the sort so my right arm (which is always exposed) froze right off. So much for getting any meditation done.

After sitting meditation session we went for walking meditation in the woods for another 45 minutes. You are supposed to focus on your body’s sensations and each and every contact of your feet with the ground as you walk. Monks all did it barefoot so I followed suite. However, I couldn’t help but notice my flip-flops when we returned to where we had taken them off. One side was upside down, likely because I took it off in a hurry. Again this was seen as setting a bad example as monks should always be tidy, measured and mindful.

This was followed by another 45 minutes of sitting meditation before the meal. The meal was awkward as someone came to help pick up my bowl for me so I was really confused as to what to do next. I took only a little food since I had learnt my lesson from yesterday, and to give myself more time to observe what the other monks did. Again I was very confused as I returned to my seat, someone returned the bowl to me with the food in it (here we ate everything in the one bowl), but I had absolutely no idea what to do with it. It’s not like where normally we just eat food from the table. I think I left the bowl open without the lid in front of me but the correct ordering should be

• Receive the bowl from the person carrying it for you
• Put the lid back over it
• Put it the bowl to the side out of the way
• Prostrate to the Buddha 3 times and then sit down to wait for others

In hindsight the sequence of events seems obvious but at the time I must have been panicking and confused.

Another sitting meditation and walking meditation sessions followed, each for 45 minutes. Then we had a Q&A session with Ajahn Jaya in the woods. The meditators attending would send in anonymous questions and Ajahn would pick some out and provide thoughtful answers for all the people attending. The entire time the monks would simply sit in full display of every one else, silent yet present. The old bamboo platform that we sat on was marginally too small and the edges would dig into my legs as we sat in the papiap posture. Slight movement would make the whole thing creak, disturbing the harmony as Ajahn contemplated and elaborately responded to each inquiry. Suffice to say, my knees were in absolutely agony by the end.

We then returned to the dwellings for Nam Pana or the tea break which lasted for about an hour. I took this chance to ask the novice monk to help me with the page numberings and the top few chants to be aware of. The most important one seems to be the meal time blessing as it’s used every day. Tan A. also gave me a small handbook to use, which contained all the most common blessings and chants.

In the evening we had the chanting and meditation session where I managed absolutely no mindfulness as my legs and knees were near breaking point. At least now I’ve learnt how to swap the papiap posture from one side to the other without revealing my legs.

papiap (Thai) A common sitting posture in monasteries, with one leg folded sideways to the back.